WTF Wednesday || Where's The Family?

Happy Hump Day Lovers! It's already halfway through the week and if you're anything like me and have Friday off thanks to working 9 hour days, the week is practically over. Today's my Thursday and I'm going to bask in all of it's glory. Hate on me, hater.

This WTF Wednesday is brought to you by those lovely stick figure families that every minivan has on their back window. I'm pretty sure it's a packaged deal now. Buy a minivan, get a stick figure family for free. As if driving a minivan meant you were anything but a big 'ol family. True, you could be a creeper handing out candy to innocent children, but you probably don't want to draw attention to yourself or have your van be recognizable at all. So the stick figure families? Probably not for you creepy van driver. Sorry, bro.

I tell you all this to introduce the most glorious or confusing thing I've ever seen on the back of a vehicle. I've seen it two days in a row now on my way to work and I'm still extremely perplexed at the intention of the driver. Is it a joke? A celebration? An admittance to multiple murders? A memorial? I really don't know. So I'll let you be the judge.

Behold, The Stick Family That Is No More...

When I first saw it my mind immediately went to: "Oh, this guy is divorced and his wife took the kids so now it's just him and his two dogs". Then I went to "OMG what happened to the family? Did they all die in a fiery inferno?" Then it was "Oh, this guy is just playing a joke and poking fun at everyone else. He was never married. It's just him and his two dogs." But now, my brain is all confused and overcome with all of these conflicting emotions and I'm not sure whether to smile every time I see the car now or move quickly away from the vehicle so that I don't get added to that crossed out list of stick figures on the back of his car.

Until Next Time...

WTF Wednesday || Does Your Banana Need a Cover?

So I'm a few days late and more than a dollar short (keep the short jokes coming) but I just had to share this idiotic thing with you. Now I lerve me some Groupons. And Living Socials. And all those other websites that offer beaucoup deals (Side note: Did you know beaucoup was spelled like that? Yea me neither. Not until Google told me it was. The more you know...). Anyway, this deal is just obnoxiously hilarious and totally out of control. I introduce to you...Banana Bunkers.

For just $8.99 you can get a cover. FOR YOUR BANANA!

I can only imagine what the infomercial for this product would be.

"Are you tired of your banana getting banged around in your purse?" *shot of a lady pulling a smashed banana out of an over sized and overstuffed satchel* What about your banana turned brown from all of the abuse that it takes? *Poor banana getting thrown against a wall by a baby* Well not anymore! Introducing the Banana Bunker! For just one order of $8.99 (plus shipping and handling) we'll send you two Banana Bunkers to extend the lives of your elongated produce. Just simply click the two ends together over a banana and viola. Your bananas are safe from harm. Drop them *Banana "accidentally" pushed off of a counter top* Throw them *Two kids playing catch with a banana outside* and even forget about them *Lady surprisingly pulls a forgotten banana out of between the car seats* and your bananas will stay free from harm!

But wait...act now and we'll throw in a third Banana Bunker for free! That's right, three Banana Bunkers for the price of two. Now your whole bushel of bananas can be protected!



Image Courtesy of Google Images


Really Groupon? Go home. You're drunk.

Until Next Time...

WTF Wednesday || A Somber Event

I'm sure all of you by now have heard about the bombings at the Boston Marathon on Monday. Like September 11, it'll be a day that I remember exactly where I was and how I found out it had happened. On September 11th I was in gym class in middle school. We were instructed to stay in the locker room until further notice. Further notice came about 2 hours later when we found out what happened. Some kids were immediately picked up by their parents others stayed throughout the day.

On the day of the Sandy Hook shootings, I found out via twitter. I went to the bathroom and silently cried for the children who would never experience their awkward teenage years or the have to worry about sneaking in after curfew. I cried for the parents who had to suddenly change course from Christmas planning to funeral planning. I cried for the little piece of innocence that was taken from every child in that town. But most of all, I cried for the future of our country and our citizens.

On Monday, I found out via twitter, again. This time I was in shock. I spent the train ride home going through my news feed trying to piece together what had happened. By the time I got to the live stream it was just the shot of the bloody sidewalk. I wasn't sure how many were harmed or dead and I wasn't sure if anyone was safe. But what bothered me the most was that this event, a holiday in the Boston area, brought together people who ran for the love of running. Now, many of them may not be able to walk again. There was a gruesome picture circulating of a guy being wheeled away and his leg was blown clear off. All that was left was the bone. That my friends, is the picture that put me in a funk for the rest of the day.  I'm actually still in a funk-like-fog but I'm slowly crawling out of it. When your innocent people in your country have been attacked, it leaves a heavy heart in it's path.

So I'm sure you all have your own acronyms for what today's WTF Wednesday could stand for, so I'll leave the creativity up to you - I'm honestly not feelin' it. All I ask is that you (if you so choose to) not only pray for Boston but pray for this country and it's citizens.

WTF Wednesday || C Is for...Criminal?

Happy Hump Day! This week's version of WTF Wednesday will be two fold. One part will be about Cookie Monster getting arrested for wreckless endangerment in NY  (I can't make this stuff up people) and the second part will be about a dream I had where my nose was broken and my elementary school nurse was there. Weird.

Here's the link to the Cookie Criminal Monster story. I bet he just wanted some cookies.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/04/for-this-cookie-monster-c-is-for-cops/

Until Next Time...

WTF Wednesday || Racism, Still Alive and Kickin

It's the fourth day of the week according to the Gregorian Calendar which superseded the Julian calendar which is ironic because I got this tid bit of infuriating information from a guy named Julian. So thanks Julian, to you and the calendar namesake even though it was named at Julius Caesar and he was remembered last Friday because it was the Ides of March and what not...

ANYWAY. I've touched on racism in a few of my previous posts. Most of the time I get my material from the book of faces as people tend to speak rather freely on there for the entire world to see. I'm all for free speech but some things are better left unsaid. And un thought. And untaught. This is one of those things. And by things I mean a group. And by group I mean a hate group. And by hate group I mean a HATE GROUP ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS. And my HATE GROUP ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS I mean a campus that I technically attend. But that will be changing shortly. Not to fret.

Here's the link to the article titled "Racist Hate Group to Conduct Nighttime Patrols on College Campus". Read at your own risk. You may raise your blood pressure because of it and I will not be held responsible for that. But I promise you you'll come out of the reading scratching your head, patting your weave, and have your head cocked to the side like an inquisitive dog.

The thing that grinds my gears, other than the groups president wants to be referred to as Commander -_- but that he basically alludes to that every black male student on campus is a threat to white students.

"The frequent robberies, sexual assaults, and acts of vandalism at Towson University are not often reported in the local media. For those who are not Towson students it seems hard to fathom that every single day black predators prey upon the majority white Towson University student body. White Southern men have long been called to defend their communities when law enforcement and the State seem unwilling to protect our people."

And for this I say, What in the ENTIRE LAND OF F***S? Not only if this a fallacy against a group (similar to a fallacy against a person) but his logic is straight up manure. Like fresh from the horse/cow/dog/pig/sloth/koala/bot fly/bobbit worm manure. I understand that there are crimes that occur on a campus. It's sadly, the nature of the beast. But what I can't understand is how all of these so called unreported crimes occur because of African American students, presumably males. But in order to stop this, this absurd group is going to start patrolling...at night...with weapons. That's going to end well. Oh, and the female members of their group? Not only are they teaching them out to clutch their purse when a black man walks into an elevator but they will also be carrying pepper spray and taking self defense classes. All in good taste until you remember they are reverse targeting a specific group of people!

Down in the comments section someone notes that there is technically nothing anyone can do about this neo-nazi (their words, not mine) group because of precedents, first amendments and all that jazz. Well there is something you can do. You can fight hate with acceptance. You can protest that Towson itself is not doing anything to stop this hate group from surviving on campus. While it's not recognized in the student groups, Towson is allowing the group to use it's resources. You know, that ones that students (even black students) have to pay for in those fees that go with tuition? Student Union fees? Yea, going to support this hate group.

So call attention to this group. It seems to be this secret that is kept on campus. Spread the word so that people take a stand against this and like groups once and for all. And before you go and say "But Karla with a K, isn't this just like those Black Student Union groups that go about supporting black students and stuff?" And for you, I say go kick rocks, read a history book, and think about what you just said.

Until Next Time...


P.S. So you know how I said I technically attend this school? My MBA is a joint program between Towson and University of Baltimore and we can pick our "home school" which basically gives us alumni status there after we graduate and what not. I'm officially changing mine to UB. No shame here.

WTF Wednesday || Why The Fine?

It's officially hump day. And that also means that it's WTF Wednesday. Sit back and enjoy while I tell you a little diddy about a lady, a radar gun, and a ticket. Clearly she wasn't channeling Ricky Bobby because she did not Want To go Fast

I was first introduced to this story on Monday night (I believe) and all that I knew about it was that a lady in Virginia received a ticket for going three miles UNDER the speed limit. From that little bit of information, I was extremely confused. How would one get a ticket for going barely under the speed limit? Am I supposed to just do the speed limit, nothing more, nothing less...ever!? But then I heard more about the story this morning while I was ironically commuting to work (shout out to The Kane Show).

Apparently this lady received a ticket for going three miles under the speed limit...on a highway. And not just any highway but I-95. You know, that long road that connects all east coast states. Yea, she was going three under on a highway. And did I tell you she was in the left lane? Yes, the "fast lane" was being occupied by a lady who was doing three under the speed limit during afternoon traffic. She was ticketed for impeding the flow of traffic.  Fun Fact: the same thing can happen if there is a cop behind you in the fast lane and you decide to slow down to the exact speed limit instead of just moving over.  I understand there was a cop out there and everyone inherently slows down when they see a cop, sometimes too late, but still slows down nonetheless. But there's a point where slow down becomes not only extremely frustrating to the drivers around you but also overtly dangerous.

I'm assuming this lady wasn't going the exact speed limit to start off with. But we'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she was doing 70 (five over the speed limit of 65). Now if she sees a cop stationed 100 yards ahead of her, she will already be at the cop within four-five seconds. Not enough time to drop eight miles an hour and not piss off someone on the road. Or maybe the person behind her was driving 70 as well and didn't predict the lady to slam on her brakes. What can occur? An accident which can result in rubber neckers which will result in congestion on the roadway which can lead to secondary crashes which causes more congestion and delays which just makes everyone a little ticked and more likley to drive dangerously just to get to where they need to go.  That's what.

Doing more research the ticket was thrown out in court, but still. Don't do what she did. We'll all thank you.

Until Next Time...

WTF Wednesday || Triple J

Hi loveies!

It's Wednesday and while people refer to it as hump day, I like to call it WTF Wednesday. Why? Well usually by this time there are some things in the news that have you smh-ing, lol-ing, omg-ing, or staring at the computer/laptop/mobile device looking like you're trying to solve for X in a differntial equation with imaginary numbers.

And this, my dear friends, is why I will do the treacherous job of digging through all of this pop culture hullabaloo and recap some of my favorites in a segment called WTF Wednesday. Now before you go flying off the handle, WTF can mean whatever you want it to. Granted most of you are familiar with what conventional young adult online lexicon has it stand for, I'm leaving it up to you good people to decide what you want WTF to stand for. And remember, it can change every Wednesday. Maybe it's We Thank Fruitloops. I mean, who wouldn't want to say thanks to those delicious loops of not real fruit? Or Where's The Fries? Seriously, I shouldn't have to explain that one to you. Who doesn't wonder where fries are every now and again?

But today, WTF will stand for *drum roll please* Wasting The Financials but it could easily be replaced with What in The entire F***.

If you haven't watched, listened to, or read the news in the past week you may be a little confused if I share the name Jesse Jackson Jr. with you.  First thoughts may be "He was in the Jackson 5 right? Right?" Or maybe you're thinking he's some famous entertainer. I mean Triple J does sound like a wrestling name or at least a professional dog stylist for the Westminster Dog Show. Shout out to Banana Joe!

But what if I told you that Mr. Jesse Jackson Jr. is non other than the son of Rev. Jesse Jackson!  (I know, I know. I outdid myself with all of my detective work.) Oh, and he may have also swindled close to $1 million from the American people while he was a member of Congress who was on "medical leave" for most of his last term for an unspecified illness which was most likely a shopping addiction.



 Image Credit: The Google

Yes, close to $1 million. Well $750,000 to be exact but who doesn't like to round up? So you may ask yourself "Self, what could one person buy with $750,000 before they got caught?" Well... besides your own small island that you transplant yourself and your closest friends to and start a mini corgi farm because they are just so darn adorable; let me tell you what he supposedly (and I use that term loosely) bought.

List of Ridiculous Stuff to Spend $750,000 of Someone Else's Money On (SEMOn for short)

List of Ridculous Stuff to Spend $750,000 of SEMOn

1. A $46,000 Fedora that once belonged to Micheal Jackson (of no relation). Funny thing is, this fedora does nothing but just sit on his head. No dishes. No moon walking. No reading you a bedtime story. No showing you how to properly fold a fitted sheet. Nothing. I say he got ripped off, but that's just my opinion.
2. $43,000 Rolex Watch because anything less can't be trusted with telling time accurately.
3. Stuffed Elk Heads. To match the stuffed Elk butts he previously had on his mantel. I'm kidding, I have no clue why anyone would want to buy those.
4. $5,000 Fur Capes and Parkas. I feel as though a fur cape isn't the best choice when flying around Chicago as a super-hero. Seems a bit less than aerodynamic to me. Unless it was a live fur coat made of live flying squirrels. Then I can see that being a good investment. But alas, I read that they were various mink capes. *sad face*
5. $14,000 on dry cleaning. How else are you going to clean a live fur cape made of flying squirrels?
6. $61,000 on Restaurants, Night-Clubs, and Lounges.  At least he goes for the high class strip joints. Or just made someones night at the strip clubs that are probably sticky inside.
7. $5,000 football signed by some U.S. Presidents. I'm almost positive it had Taft's signature on it. And McKinley's. And Washington's.
8. $10,105 on Bruce Lee memorabilia. Seems pretty legit.

Way to go Triple J. Way to go.


Until Next Time...