"...You Look Like A Little Girl"

Friday morning I'm getting into work and I'm riding up to my floor on the elevator. There's two other people in the elevator with me. A male, about 25-29 if I had to guess, tall, dark, and handsome as all get out. He was wearing fitted jeans, a pairof those sneakers that people get killed over, and a quarter sleeve jersey t-shirt. A little too casual for casual Friday's in my (office's) opinion but to each (office) their own. Next is a middle aged woman that I've ridden the elevator with many times. We usually talk about hair since she's going natural too and always compliments me on mine. This morning was no different. Except this time she followed up with

But you know that makes you look like a little girl, right?

After a millisecond of checking myself before I wrecked myself in a corporate setting I just giggled and played along like it didn't phase me. I can take a few blows. No problem. But I wasn't prepared for the 1.2. She continued after a moment of silence (I swear these are the largest floors ever. It seemed like the elevator was crawling.) she continued

I guess it's pretty hard for middle aged, white men to take you seriously when you look like a twelve year old, huh? But I like it.

I'm not sure what my face looked like at that time but by then she had hit her floor and was already out of the elevator by the time I picked my jaw up off the floor.

Now you're probably asking what my hair looked like. If you're expecting pig tails or any other style that is associated with little girls, try again. I was wearing a twist out. A defined, relatively chunky, twist out. See I had my hair in chunky medium sized twists (about 30 on my head) all week and decided to take them out and let me hair free... since it's Friday. Let me say this again. MY HAIR WAS IN TWISTS ALL WEEK. Now I know I look young when I have those twists in. Like, 12 year old young. I usually pin them back into some kind of updo to look less like a child but this week I was giving zero anything about pinning them back. I just needed something to wear that would allow me to work out at lunch without coming back to the office looking like Don King. Plus last week the humidity was relentless so a twist out would have lasted a good 30 seconds before it turned into a poofy 'fro. Not a bad look, just not what I want in the office.

I've never been looked at differently because of the way I dress or wear my hair. And that's because I don't wear big poofy glorious 'fros to work. I keep my hair contained which is what keeps corporate world happy. Frankly, it's easier to deal with in the twists anyway as I don't have to do anything when I wake up in the morning but shake, pin (if I feel like it), and go. Plus, I know how some folks, particularly of the older generation, get distracted at the tiniest things so I don't want my hair to be one of them.

Here's what I would have loved to say to that lady if I hadn't checked myself or had a jaw on the floor.

No ma'am. I'm not sure what you're referring to but I've never had someone not take me seriously because of the way my hair looks. In fact, I get complimented on my appearance regularly. And for those who believe that I look like a little kid, I let the quality of my work speak towards the ignorance and judgements that I may recieve. A quality of work that has always been praised and is easily on or above par in comparison to those who are not only double (and some) my age, but my experience, and pay grade.

*Drops the mic*

50 Random Facts About Me || Part 1

Helloooooooooo! (Think Mrs. Doubtfire)

So remember when I had this bright idea of doing a "Blog My Life" series? Well, that was supposed to get started over the summer when I thought I'd have more free time. Well, I thought wrong. Big time. But I'm still working on the series so stay tuned, if you still care. In the meantime, I want to give you all a snippet of my life by doing the 50 Random Facts about me tag that's been going around YouTube. And since we've been down that road of me not having a camera decent enough to vlog nor me not really wanting to be THAT exposed to the world (yet), I've decided to blog it instead...in two parts.
Hope you enjoy!

50 Random Facts About Me (Karla...With a K) Part 1

1. I enjoy making lists. I get a sense of accomplishment when I can make a list and cross off something.
2. The only thing I actually enjoy more than making lists, is budgeting. My best friend jokes that I get my rocks off from budgeting. He's a jerk.
3. Yes. I have a male as a bestfriend. We call each other overlords. It sounds a bit geeky now that I actually think about it but, whatever. We have each other's back no matter what.
4. SURPRISE! I have more than 1 bestfriend. Shocker, I know. At the moment I have 3 with a floater. Each of my best friends serve a purpose. Sadly enough, there isn't one best friend who I feel as though I can tell everything to. Maybe it's my way of staying in control. Yea... let's go with that.
5. I live with one of my other bestfriends. We're complete opposites in almost every way imaginable. I could from a home that should have been inside of a magazine (i.e. not a blanket out of place, nothing on the floors, no dishes in the sink when you go to bed at night) and she comes from...not that (i.e. borderline hoarder). So imagine that working out. Somehow it does, beautifully. I honestly couldn't imagine living with anyone else (besides a husband someday). She puts up with my OCD moments, my bitch moments, my moments when I come back from seeing my Mom and realize that our home looks nothing like my Mom's and therefore I go on a cleaning spree. She also puts up with me leaving an absurd amount of bobby pins laying around within arms reach. In the couch cushions, on the dining room table, in the bathroom, in her car, in the kitchen (pro tip: they are great for chip clips), in the washer, in the dryer, in the dogs mouth. Literally. EV.ER.Y.WHERE.
6. My best friend/roommate and I have shared custody of a dog (which she's already claimed when we part ways). She's a beagle and a basset hound mix and is absolutely adorable. The dog, not my best friend. She's adorable too but... she's not a dog.
7. But sometimes my dog isn't a dog, she's a cat. We have a bay window in our new place that is large enough for people to sit on. She likes to sit on it. ALL.DAY. And just stare out the window. Sometimes I forget she's there because she doesn't move for quite some time until she of course starts whining because she sees another dog outside.
8. I'm thinking about getting another dog to keep dog #1 company and to have a buddy.
9. If I were to get another dog, it would be a corgi. I love them. They're just like me, short with little legs. I'm a corgi in human form. Deal with it.
10. I believe in reincarnation. Deal with it. No I don't know what I was in my previous life but I think it has something to do with being outdoors. I just feel at peace when I'm in nature.
11. If I could be reincarnated into an animal, it would probably be a sloth.
12. I'm probably the shortest full-grown person you know. On a good day I'm 5'. Normally, I'm 4'11 3/4" .Call me fun sized if you will.
1. When people have the audacity to ask me how short I am my response is usually "Not." And I just keep it moving.
13. I used to be a girl scout and still can resist the girl scout promise and girl scout honor. Yea, I was that kind of kid.
14. When I was a girl scout I used to be the one that tried to get the most badges. A little competitive? Maybe. But there was one badge that I could never get...the swimming badge.
15. I don't know how to swim or tread water. Don't offer to teach me, it probably won't work.
1. I can swim enough to stay alive if needed and to get from point a to point b but it's not efficient in any way imaginable.
16. Samoa Girl Scout Cookies are not only a bit racist, but totally delicious. My mom and I hoard boxes at a time.
17. I'm a Daddy's girl to the core. I was brought up by my Dad as his "only son" since his dreams of having a boy to carry on his legacy was crushed when the doctor told him that I was lacking a certain phallus.
18. I've played softball for close to 18 years. I don't like to brag, but I'm pretty damn good. I've moved from fast pitch to slow pitch though because there aren't any fast pitch leagues around me. Le Sigh.
19. I'm currently on 2.5 teams (one as a "Hey we're missing a girl can you come play?" team) where I play short, 3rd, or 2nd.
20. I haven't missed a Women's College World Series (softball) in years. End of May/beginning of June? I'm parked in front of the TV.
21. I love my hair. It's natural and I'm a pro-natural hair advocate. But I won't force anyone to go natural. Actually, I'll only explain the benefits of not having chemicals in your hair if you start the conversation first. It's not my place to tell you what you should or should not do to your body. I'll just spread my knowledge whenever it's warranted and allowed.
1. I hate when people force their opinions/beliefs/way of life on me, so why would I do that to anyone else?
22. For that reason, I refuse to talk about religion/politics/heated cultural events with people. I believe in healthy arguments and discussion but most people take that to an insane level where they're no longer communicating. Just trying to get their point across.
23. I enjoy healthy arguments. My best friend in high school and I stopped talking because of an argument over who knows what where we disagreed on something that didn't turn into a healthy argument. Woops. Since then, we've both learned to respectfully disagree. She became a lawyer. I just like to argue for the sake of making the other person aware other thought processes.  
24. I'm an international business MBA candidate so I'm very aware of cultural/personal/regional/ generational differences in people. I try to keep an open mind on any and everything and not much bothers me when it comes to customs/gestures/ways of life - except those that spread and promote ignorance and hate and take away humans inalienable right.  
1. I'm pro-LGBT
2. I'm pro-gay rights/marriage
3. I'm pro-choice
4. I'm pro- tattoos in the workplace
5. I'm a registered democrat but I don't agree with everything they stand for
6. I believe in standing up for myself and others while questioning outdated rules and norms
7. I'm pro -everyone has their own opinion and is entitled to it but not everyone's opinion is for the betterment of society and that's where things get funky
25. I don't apologize for my opinion and I don't expect you to apologize for yours. I would just hope that you're sensitive to others opinions when expressing your own and respectful of everyone's right to have an opinion that is different than yours.

There you have it folks. Part 1 of a 2 (maybe more) part series. I tried not to get too deep into some heavy stuff. I'll save that for later.

Until Next Time...

Less is More || Keep Your Friends Close

It's a Saturday and I'm awake and functional in the 7 o'clock (am) hour. I know. I'm crazy. But my softball games were cancelled because it only likes to rain in the mary land on Friday nights. At this point, I'll be playing softball while little kids are picking pumpkins.  Oy.

Nevertheless,  I'm going to make something out of this open Saturday besides laying in bed til noon only to stumble downstairs, stuff food in my mouth, and plop on the couch for some Law&Order marathon that is bound to be on. No. I won't do that. I'll be productive.  First thing that was on the list that I already scratched off? What? I can't come on here saying I'm going to do something because I usuallt end up not doing it then. Need further proof? Check back on the previous posts. 

Anyway first thing was going through my contact list in my cell phone.  I recently got a new phone but thankfully all my contacts were saved in the Google so syncing was a snap.  But then I wanted pictures by my contacts and had the bright idea of syncing my Facebook account with my phone.  Didn't realize that would balloon my contact list up to 578 -_- Not to mention it was a pain finding the correct James out of 6 possible ones that I needed to text.  So I did some cleansing and purged that down to the people I actually talk to, text or would need to text,  and important numbets like the Chinese food place.  Kidding. Sort of. I ended up deleting that number. Don't judge.

My contact list is now around 25. And I know which James to text and everyone has pictures.  I encourage you to do the same with your contact list or if you're really ambitious, you're Facebook account.  If I don't talk to or text you, I'll find a way to contact you if I EVER need you (I.e. Facebook). But if we haven't spoken for real since high school? Sorry, bro.

They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I'd rather keep my friends close and have 4 quarters instead of 100 pennies.

Until Next Time...

WTF Wednesday || Where's The Family?

Happy Hump Day Lovers! It's already halfway through the week and if you're anything like me and have Friday off thanks to working 9 hour days, the week is practically over. Today's my Thursday and I'm going to bask in all of it's glory. Hate on me, hater.

This WTF Wednesday is brought to you by those lovely stick figure families that every minivan has on their back window. I'm pretty sure it's a packaged deal now. Buy a minivan, get a stick figure family for free. As if driving a minivan meant you were anything but a big 'ol family. True, you could be a creeper handing out candy to innocent children, but you probably don't want to draw attention to yourself or have your van be recognizable at all. So the stick figure families? Probably not for you creepy van driver. Sorry, bro.

I tell you all this to introduce the most glorious or confusing thing I've ever seen on the back of a vehicle. I've seen it two days in a row now on my way to work and I'm still extremely perplexed at the intention of the driver. Is it a joke? A celebration? An admittance to multiple murders? A memorial? I really don't know. So I'll let you be the judge.

Behold, The Stick Family That Is No More...

When I first saw it my mind immediately went to: "Oh, this guy is divorced and his wife took the kids so now it's just him and his two dogs". Then I went to "OMG what happened to the family? Did they all die in a fiery inferno?" Then it was "Oh, this guy is just playing a joke and poking fun at everyone else. He was never married. It's just him and his two dogs." But now, my brain is all confused and overcome with all of these conflicting emotions and I'm not sure whether to smile every time I see the car now or move quickly away from the vehicle so that I don't get added to that crossed out list of stick figures on the back of his car.

Until Next Time...

Happy Father's Day!

Just popping in to wish all of you Dads out there (anyone can be a father...that's just determined by DNA and one lucky sperm that beat out the rest to survive, thrive, grow, and mutate into a baby 9 months later) a Happy Father's Day! I still think it should be called "Happy Dad's Day". There's no need to be so uptight with these titles, people. I don't know one child that calls their Dad "Father". Of course I don't really spend time talking to kids that much so I could be wrong. But on any note, to all that Dads that are apart of their children's lives in a positive way, Happy Dad's Day to you. And for the single mother's out there who are holding it down? Congratulations and thank you. While I cannot say that you can take the place of a Dad, you're doing the best that you can with the circumstances that were given. And for that, I applaud you to the moon and back.

Now that the serious stuff is out of the way, let's get to the giggles and chuckles and smirks that I always (try) to provide. By now you've heard about all of the things that I get from my mom. And no, this isn't some dumb Will.I.Am song where they just talk about women's bodies as if that's all they really are. I'm talking about the borderline OCD that I have. The need to keep everything in it's place. The need to be in control of every aspect of my life. The weird thing I have where I don't drink the last of my drinks. My obsession with anything DIY and HGTV related. The inner mamma bear in my is all because of her. So that leaves you asking, "Well, Karla with a K, what did you get from your Dad?" Good question my loves, good freaking question.

Here is a list of things I got from my Dad or as I like to call it my:

Thanks Dad For Making Me Awesome List:

1. My body. Not to sound all weird and for those of you who haven't seen me in real life I am all female, promise. But I get my tree trunk legs and my other assets (ahem) from my Dad's side of the family. 
2. My brain...well half of it. I've decided that I'm pretty much the best mixture of my parents that could ever happen (sorry Karol, but we all know I'm the favorite anyway). But in all seriousness, I get the nurturing mamma bear from my Mom. And from my Dad, I have the analytical side. See, Daddy Dearest majored in Engineering in College (don't ask me which one because I always get it wrong). And throughout my education, he would help with mold that tiny little 7 pound brain of mine into an analytical machine. So thanks Dad for making my over analyze every part of  my life. 'Preciate it, bro. 
3. My love of sports and being active. My Dad always wanted a boy. He never kept that hidden at all. So when I came around and I was missing a member of the male anatomy, he didn't give up on his dream. Instead, he decided that his little girl was going to play double duty and be his little boy too. So he taught me how to play softball at a young age. Like 5 years old young age, with the plans of enrolling my into t-ball. Too bad that I was a superstar on the field and got to skip t-ball because I could make the throw from 3rd base (ish) to first at the tender age of 6. Yea. I was that good in my floral spandex pants. Thanks to him. Oh and pitching? No problem. He'd drag me outside when I would have much rather been doing anything else and work on my pitching. And for all those other sports out there and being active all the time? Yea that was him. When I was growing up we had a workout room in our basement that was lined with his trophies. I mean LINED. He had bowling trophies, high jump trophies, long jump trophies, other track and field event trophies, football trophies, trophies for having some many trophies. Ridiculous. Yet inspiring.  
4. Being able to spit out of moving cars without getting it on you. That is probably one of the most practical skills ever. No one wants to spit on themselves. Need an explanation? See #3. 
5. My love of making things with my hands. Daddy does home improvement on the side. Daddy also has had power tools since I could remember. Karla played with Daddy's power tools when he was away. At like the age of 8 or so away. There's even a picture of my at the bottom of his ladder when I was so young I could barely crawl. But I crawled my happy ass and nappy headed (seriously, head full of hair going all over the place) self to the bottom of his ladder and was determined to just get up there somehow.  I can read a measuring tape better than anyone he knows and my meticulous mind (thanks to Mommy Dearest) means when I mud and tape it almost doesn't need to be sanded over. I know that wall studs at 16" apart and have finished a basement or two when I worked with him over one summer. 

I'm sure there are tons more and this post will be updated as I think of them but right now I have to head out because I'm going to see my Daddy at home. Peace out homies. 

Until Next Time...

Bloggin' on a Budget || Week 24

We are 24 weeks into the New Year (which can officially just be referred to as "the year" since it's anything but new.  Like those babies who are 34 months old -_- ). Can you believe that it's June already? And not just June...almost halfway through June!? Where has the time gone? Well hopefully your answer is "it's been compounding interest on my 52 Weeks Savings Challenge savings account". Not the answer you said? Well. Fix that.

I can tell you to go save until I'm blue in the face but instead I'll just give you all of the tools needed to save.

Here's the original post detailing the 52 Week Savings Challenge.

It's never too late to start. And you don't have to go in order of the calendar. As I said in a previous post, I already knocked out December's and thinking of knocking out November's starting next week. Whatever's clever. And bank account friendly.

Until next time...

WTF Wednesday

You're welcome.

Happy Hump Day!

Until Next Time...

On To The Next One

So I successfully completed my 3 Day detox and even survived the nasty ass smoothie. It's been 2 weeks since I completed it and I'm still the same weight I was when I stopped after the fifth day. Yes, I kept the detox going for five days and lost about 5 pounds over the time period. And it's stayed off. Proof (I guess) that it wasn't water weight. But besides the scale finally coming back from the dark side, I've gotten a new found appreciation for myself and my body.

Being vertically challenged and built with tree trunk legs, as my Dad so affectionately calls them (Thanks Daddy -_- Jerk.) and having a bra size that resembles a kid flunking school, losing even a little bit of weight is noticeable. At least by me. And because of my weight loss, I have to admit I've been feeling myself a lot more lately. I've ordered another bathing suit. I happily weigh myself daily. My roommate catches me at awkward times as I'm checking myself out in the mirror. I prance around without pants on. Ok, the last one may have been a daily occurrence before I lost weight. But the point is. I feel good. And I feel good because I look good better. And since these little mini challenges seem to work a lot better than sticking to a program (Month 2 of Insanity, anyone?) I've decided I'm going to do another one.

Not a detox this time, although I've kept most of the concepts of the detox going, I'm going to focus on exercise and toning. First up, The 300 Abs in 30 Days. If you're on pinterest you may have seen this pin floating around that is actually just a modification of P90X Ab Ripper. I have P90X. I've done the Ab Ripper. But I haven't done it for 30 days straight. The original posting can be found here by this gal, Courtney. Since she posted this almost 2 years ago (I think) there have been many of "challenge groups" that have done the 30 day challenge and posted there results.

So I'll do the same. But only after I complete the 30 days. Who am I kidding. Let me try to do just 15 days first and see how far I get. I do have motivation this time since I'm going to the beach with the gang in 19 days. So if I can do this for 15 out of the 19 days, I'll post my results. And I'm not just talking numbers this time. I'll do pictures too. Clothed though, sorry. Homie don't play that naked pictures on the Internet thing.

Cheer me on lovies. And feel free to join in!

Until Next Time...

My First Detox || Final Results and Thoughts

Final Weigh In: -1.5 lbs for a total of 3 lbs lost in 3 days.







Boom. This may not seem like a big thing to some people but for someone who can gain weight by blinking...this is BIG. Like taking Pluto off of the list of planets big. I have lost 3 lbs in 3 days since I was sick with the flu in November. Not to fret, I gained it all back within 2 days. :-) Now, I'm officially 10 lbs from my goal weight and 20 from my ultimate goal weight. Makes me wonder what I would have lost in total if I hadn't cheated so dang bad on day two. Nevertheless, I'm beyond happy.

And that's it. My three day detox is over. Done. Gonzo. See ya later stinky nasty ass smoothie (which I've started to love thanks to my pineapple addition). So long no more meat/carbs/dairy. Sayonara restrictions! And hello all new attitude towards food. I've been called a fast learner (along with many other things that shall not be re-uttered) but I didn't know just how fast I would get this whole clean eating thing. Now if you're one of my best friends that has been with me through my phases (yogurt and granola, vegetarian, pescetarian, brussel sprouts, anyone?) you're probably just shaking your head at me. Keep on shaking because this is one that I have a feeling I'm going to be sticking too for quite some time.

Say what!?

Yup. I've decided to do a 80% clean lifestyle with the remaining 20% being whatever I desire. There's a method to my madness. 1) it cuts out the restrictions. We all know how much I LOVE being told what I cannot do. 2) It allows for flexibility. There's going to be days where I go out to eat and there won't be ANYTHING clean on the menu. In fact, that will probably be tonight since we go to dinner after softball on Fridays. Plus, french fries are my kryptonite. There, I said it. And there's nothing wrong with that. 3) I can be pretty darn lazy sometimes. There will be nights where I come home from work, do insanity, and am not going to want to cook anything for dinner. So what will I do? Eat something that's not AS clean as it should be. But still eat it with a smile on my face and a little bit on my shirt since I tend to eat like a 3 year old. 4) I love to bake and cook. And while most of the time I share them with either co-workers or friends (because who needs 3 dozen white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies in the house at one time?), the best recipes with have white sugar in it. And for those that don't know, white sugar is the devil of clean eating. And brown sugar? Not much better. Since it's just white sugar with molasses in it. And I want to start making breads. And white, all-purpose, or bread flour is the she-devil of clean eating. But that's not going to stop me. I'll make substitutions when I can but I'm not too worried about it. Why? Because I'm going to start living life by my rules. 5) Did I mention I hate restrictions? Especially restrictions from foods. Tell me I can't eat it and I'll end up binging until I hate myself. This will allow me to indulge at time, without going overboard. 6) It's summer. That means cook outs, day trips, parties, and drinking. I don't want to be THAT person that asks if the beef in my burger is from free range cattle or if the lettuce is organic or if the pasta in the pasta salad is whole wheat. I'd have a feeling I wouldn't be invited to very many gatherings.

So will I do this detox again? Technically, I shouldn't have to if I keep the clean eating going on. But if I do slip back into mounds of processed foods, I know something that works for me and will help me get back on track.

Until Next Time...

My First Detox || Day 3

Last day of the detox. And I'd be more excited if I had actually followed the detox to a T and didn't just do my own thing that I usually do. I will say though, that I'm proud of myself for not stepping that far out of bounds with what I ate. For the most part (about 90% of the time) I ate clean. And for about 70% of the time I felt hungry. Not even bored hungry but hungry hungry. That, I'm not a fan of.

Weigh In:  +/- 0 Stayed the same. Not too surprised since I kinda bucked all parts of the detox yesterday. But I will say that I got the BEST sleep that I've had in days. I only hit the snooze button once and didn't even make it the entire time it was snoozed. I just got up. And I was ready to go. Granted I would have much rather been asleep, but who wouldn't?

Breakfast: I decided to try the smoothie/juice again. Frankly because I had spending money on food when I clearly have food in the house. But I did jazz it up a little (aka made it drinkable). I had some frozen fresh pineapple (hope that wasn't an oxymoron but it was fresh pineapple that had been frozen before the move). I put a few chunks in the smoothie, added a green apple for tartness, put it in a different blender, hit the "liquefy" button and let it go for about 4 minutes straight. I will say that the consistency and much better and the taste doesn't remind me of lawn clippings. I will definitely be OK drinking this for the morning and maybe for a while after the detox. Since I do have a whole bunch of veggies left since I didn't make the soup. Hopefully it fills me up. I have enough for a regular sized tumbler and about 10 oz in a Rubbermaid bottle. So this may be my breakfast and mid-morning snack since I clearly was too lazy/cranky last night to chop carrots and put some almonds in a bag. Pathetic. I know.

Lunch: I had leftovers from dinner last night. So Parmesan crusted Pollock (no avocado this time), a small amount of couscous, and a green apple. I ate all the kale last night and again, I was too lazy to cook more so I didn't. Surprisingly, I feel like I have TONS of energy. And this is after I came back from the gym. The new and improved smoothie actually kept me full until lunch, although while at the gym I realized I was a little more hungry than usual and therefore couldn't go as hard.

Dinner: I decided to try something a little different and I'm so glad I did. I was craving pizza all day and realized I was probably just craving the sauce. Pizza isn't pizza without a good sauce. So I decided to make pasta instead. I know, you're thinking "wait, aren't you doing a whole no carb no cheese no meat no fun thing?" Yup. So instead of regular pasta I made it with zucchini pasta. And it was MARVELOUS! Very easy to make and it used up some of the veggies I had bought for the detox soup that I never made (and I have no regrets about that whatsoever). I made the sauce too thanks to all those Roma tomatoes I bought for said soup. Topped it off with some lightly cooked green peppers and viola. Delicious. I'll post the recipe later on but it was definitely to die for and hit the exact craving that I was having last night.

Until Next Time...

My First Detox || Day 2

Day two of my three day detox. You all know the drill so let me break down what I ate.

Weigh in: -1.5 lbs. I'll take that! Yes, it's probably water weight. But weight is weight. And from all the times I had to go to the bathroom yesterday it better have been down a few lbs. I did notice that my tummy was a little flatter which is always a plus.

Breakfast: Morning water (spring water/lemon/ginger) 24 ounces that I sipped all morning. I went downstairs to the cafeteria and got some fresh strawberries and a banana. Clearly I'm bucking that nasty ass smoothie and going for clean eating instead in this case. I ate the strawberries during breakfast time but I found myself nibbling on my banana all morning. It clearly ran into the mid-morning snack time. So I bumped the mid-morning snack because I wasn't hungry.

So why did I pick strawberries and a banana? Simple. They contain sugar. Granted it's natural sugar but it's sugar nonetheless which your body treats as such. It takes longer for your body to break the sugar down therefore it's best to eat in the morning/early afternoon than later on in the day. The hope is that you'll burn it off. I hope so too. I did go to the gym today (I didn't yesterday while at work. I clearly was too hangry to be around anyone let alone let out any physical effort even though I went to softball practice after work) and went for a run and then did some more cardio inside.

Lunch: Microgreen salad with raw onions, shredded carrots, black beans, sunflower seeds, and topped with raspberry vinegar and olive oil. I got the idea for a microgreen salad from reading through the Ultimate Reset reviews (It was something that was mentioned A LOT) as well as the Hungry for Change diet plan. For lunch, it says you can have a salad instead of the Sushi salad and gives you some parameters. Plus, everything in there was clean and raw so I'm good to go. And if you're wondering, microgreens are the ones that look like for real plants and are sometimes confused with "spring mix" salads. Same difference really.

Dinner: I seriously broke the rules of the detox here. I didn't eat bad. Actually, I ate pretty clean (except for the cheese). But I noticed the detox doesn't have any meat, dairy products, or grains at all. Well, I had all three. I had broiled pollock topped with parmesan cheese and avocado, basil pesto pearled couscous, and steamed kale. Woops.

Was feeling a bit tired today and a little cranky after dinner. Not sure if it was because I realized I ate what I ate and that wasn't really what I was supposed to eat or if I'm not getting enough sleep at night. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

My First Detox || Day 1

I did it! I made it through the first day of my three day detox. I'll try to recap everything that I did. I'm going to be completely honest with you all...I cheated. But I still had surprising results after one day.

If you need a recap, here's the menu for the three day Hungry for Change detox. Pretty simple stuff.

Upon Waking Up

What you're supposed to do: Drink 12 ounces of spring/distilled room temperature water mixed with 1/2 tsp ginger root juice (grated them mashed to get the juice) and 1/2 a lemon juice.

What I did: Took out the dog. -_- Thanks for waking me up 10 minutes before my alarm went off Jade. You're the best.

After we came back in from her walk, I made the drink and put it in my water bottle to drink on my way to work since I'd be sitting on the train. Instead of 12 ounces I did 24 but kept all the other measurements the same.

Breakfast

What you're supposed to eat: Make this nasty ass smoothie/juice concoction and drink it.

What I ate: Finish drinking my Morning Water and had 1/2 a green apple and a lick of a pear.

Like I said, that smoothie/juice was nasty ass. I still had half of one in my fridge from when I tried the detox on Friday. I got my portion down that day but I was steadily belching fumes from greens and junk all day. It was gross and made me gag. I'm sure if I kept drinking it I'd get used to it but I wasn't going to torture myself like that. 1) it's supposed to be a juice. I'm sure I would have been able to get it down if it had been a juice instead of a smoothie. They tell you to just "mix it with water when you blend it" to get it more like a juice. You know what I say to that?



Ew.

The chunks of leafy kale and skin from the pear didn't really suit this weird texture thing I have going on. So I ate half of an apple that I had saved from making the smoothie on Friday and it was in the bag with the pear so I said "Eh...might as well take that". Well the apple went down fine (gotta love Granny Smiths) but that pear. No bueno. Like I said...I licked it. It tasted good. But the texture of a pear is...weird. Much better as a smoothie than eating it itself.

Mid Morning Snack

What you're supposed to eat: eat raw carrots and celery

What I ate: Ate raw carrots and celery. Well...not all the celery. Celery and I have a weird relationship. I ate it so much when I was in pre-school that I can't stomach it anymore. And yes, I remember eating ants on a log in pre-school. It was an awesome pre-school btw. But the taste of celery is just... bleh to me. It even messed up my love of peanut butter for a while because all I tasted when I ate peanut butter was...celery. No bueno. I probably ate about 1 full stalk of celery before I was like



Sorry. Can't do it. But I did eat all of the carrots. You really can't go wrong with carrots. Ever.

By this time it was about 11:00 and I was getting hangry (hungry + angry). I usually don't eat lunch until 12:30 or later but I knew I wasn't going to make it to then. So I ate my lunch at 11:30 like some weirdo.

Lunch
What you're supposed to eat: Sushi Salad

What I ate: Sushi Salad. And it was GLORIOUS! This was the other half of the sushi salad I had from Friday. I ate it then too and I knew I like it so I made sure to bring it for lunch today. It really tasted like a deconstructed California roll without the rice.

Problem was. I was still hungry. Not like "Oh, I could eat some more hungry" but more like "I'm starving" hungry. The salad did absolutely NOTHING to cure my hunger. But I waited until 1:30 to see if I could just make it through. I stared at my afternoon snack and thought about eating that. Then I realized... that wasn't going to solve anything. Almonds...measly almonds? Pish posh. My hunger laughs in the face of almonds.

Afternoon Snack

What you're supposed to eat: A handful of raw almonds

What I ate: a Peach chobani with 2 Nature's Valley Granola bars...and some almonds. Look I was hungry, ok? After eating the chobani I felt satisfied. Not full...but satisfied. And it made me remember how much I love yogurt.

Dinner
What you're supposed to eat: Soup

What I ate: Egg omelet (2 eggs) with green peppers and tomatoes and steamed kale. 'Twas fabulous! It totally was not even on the menu but it was clean and good for you. (Sidenote: Why does kale taste like lawn clippings in the smoothie but amazing when it's steamed and wilted in a pan?) I honestly was going to make the soup but then I had softball practice until 7 and I don't like eating later than 8:00 so I needed something quick and painless. In hindsight, I probably should have made the soup the night before so I wouldn't run into this problem but I didn't. And I survived.

And that's when I realized that following this detox to a 'T' is not for me because frankly, I don't like people telling me what to do. And with only three things to chose from, one of which smells like grass barf, I'm not into that. But what I did figure out is that this detox is trying to force the user (me) to eat clean. Clean eating it's hard...it's just less convienent. No prepackaged foods. Make as much as you can by hand and get back to eating real food not food stuffs that have been morphed into food. And since I love cooking, I don't think clean eating is going to be a stretch for me. If I'm not following the detox for the next two days, I will definitely do 90% clean eating. I say 90% because I had a bed-time snack of some pretzel sticks which cleary do not follow the clean eating guidelines.

After the detox? I'll probably stick with clean eating. It's not as difficult as it looks if you put the time into it. And I clearly have time. -_- not

Until Next Time...

Less is More || My First Detox

Hello lovely people! So good to be back. It's the day after Memorial Day aka the day people just show up to work but really don't do anything all day but dream about how much fun they had over the weekend and when is the next time they'll have a long weekend (It'll be in 5 weeks if you plan your 4th of July right).

For me, this weekend was crazy. And not in a good way. In a let's not have a panic attack type of way. But I survived - sans panic attack and I'm ready to move on. Just one problem. I feel like complete and utter crap. I know why. I slipped out of the insane aslyum (Insanity workout) when we ramped up the moving efforts and coincidentally thanks to the lack of counterspace/oven/dishes/anything to eat and or eat on and or with for about a week, I was eating out almost daily. And not just any eating out...fast food. Gross. And to top it all off, I went to Six Flags on Sunday. Dippin' Dots? Sure. French Fries? Of course!  Soda? Get in my belly. I did, however, resist funnel cake. But still, it was pretty damn bad. So I've decided to do a small detox to reset my body and tastebuds and hopefully drop some unwanted lbs. Btw, if you're wondering I gained a whopping .5 lbs over the past week. So apparently I didn't do TOO bad, but nonetheless.

I've been toying with doing the Ultimate Reset by Beachbody for a while now. At first it was going to be my reward for finishing Insanity. Well, my "end date" has come and gone so that's on hold. Then I was going to do it just to get a quick fix and see how much weight I could lose. (I'm slimmer than I was in high school but I weight more...like 25 lbs more. And of course, being a female, it's all about the numbers on the scale.) Yes, the Ultimate Reset is about $250 but it'll be worth it, right? Meh. I cannot for the life of me bring myself to spend that much money on a clean eating cook book and some supplements that haven't been approved by the FDA. So who's to say they even work? What if all of these people are losing weight because they're actually eating better over the 21 period and the supplements are just placebos?

I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to bet $250 on that. Although these people's before and after photos make me quickly second guess myself. Seriously, they've lost 10-20 lbs (women) in the 21 days and have raved about the deliciousness of the food and how they aren't hungry. Ever.

But then I check that price and I'm like "Nah dog...I'm good." So I've decided to do a different detox. One that's free and doesn't require bogus (that's what I'm going to call them since it'll make me feel better in not purchasing the UR) supplements or spending nearly $250 on a clean eating cookbook. Instead, I'm doing the Hungry For Change detox. It's a 3 day program that has people raving about their fantastic results. It's supposed to be a Friday, Saturday, Sunday program and with Memorial Day I had Friday Off. I thought GREAT! I'll start today. Yea...not so much. I last until dinner then I realized that I was hungry. Like starving hungry. Probably because I didn't eat the snacks that I was allowed to eat and I was really busy unpacking and moving and junk. So by the time I got back home, it was around 6:30 and I was starvin like Marvin girl... and I broke down and got a pizza. And I ate it. Not all of it. But I ate it. And I was happy.

So I'm starting again and I'm going to eat all of the food that I'm supposed to eat so that I don't fall off the wagon this time. Let's see how it goes.

Until Next Time...

Less is More || I can only have HOW much?

If you're like most of the U.S. young adult females who are warped by societies sense of beauty, you've without a doubt have had your share of the words "serving size". In all reality, it's not a bad thing to only eat a serving size of whatever food stuff. Why? Because that's the amount of calories and what not you think you're eating.

That is until your decision for "just one more" turns into you hating yourself as your hands are covered in nacho cheesy goodness and the bag is almost empty. Well at that point you might as well finish off the bag, right?

Make things easy on yourself. If you're going to eat pre-packaged foods (and let's face it...we always will) just take out the indicated serving size and put the rest away.

Blog My Life

If you have been living under a rock or just aren't hip to this new found thing called You Tube there's a particular tag that has taken over and everyone and their momma seems to be doing it. It's titled "Draw My Life" in which the You Tuber does exactly that. They take a whiteboard and some dry erase markers and go to town. With some clever editing skills, at the end of the video you know their entire life story (well at least the parts they'd like to share with the audience) and you get to judge their drawing abilities. I'm not sure why I love it so much, but I do. However, I don't have a You Tube account (Fallacy. I do, but I haven't uploaded any videos yet) and since I don't have a fancy camera or sweet editing equipment I don't think I'll be able to do a draw my life any time soon.

But what I do have are words. Words that can dance, move, and boogie with the best of them. So I'll take you through a journey of my life through my media of choice...blogging. This will be a mini series on my blog and will be broken down into life parts (birth, childhood, middle school, high school, college, now) so that I won't a) have diarrhea of the mouth fingers and b) give you all something to look forward to. And who knows...I may inspire others to follow suit. If not, hopefully you'll be entertained.

Until Next Time...

WTF Wednesday || Does Your Banana Need a Cover?

So I'm a few days late and more than a dollar short (keep the short jokes coming) but I just had to share this idiotic thing with you. Now I lerve me some Groupons. And Living Socials. And all those other websites that offer beaucoup deals (Side note: Did you know beaucoup was spelled like that? Yea me neither. Not until Google told me it was. The more you know...). Anyway, this deal is just obnoxiously hilarious and totally out of control. I introduce to you...Banana Bunkers.

For just $8.99 you can get a cover. FOR YOUR BANANA!

I can only imagine what the infomercial for this product would be.

"Are you tired of your banana getting banged around in your purse?" *shot of a lady pulling a smashed banana out of an over sized and overstuffed satchel* What about your banana turned brown from all of the abuse that it takes? *Poor banana getting thrown against a wall by a baby* Well not anymore! Introducing the Banana Bunker! For just one order of $8.99 (plus shipping and handling) we'll send you two Banana Bunkers to extend the lives of your elongated produce. Just simply click the two ends together over a banana and viola. Your bananas are safe from harm. Drop them *Banana "accidentally" pushed off of a counter top* Throw them *Two kids playing catch with a banana outside* and even forget about them *Lady surprisingly pulls a forgotten banana out of between the car seats* and your bananas will stay free from harm!

But wait...act now and we'll throw in a third Banana Bunker for free! That's right, three Banana Bunkers for the price of two. Now your whole bushel of bananas can be protected!



Image Courtesy of Google Images


Really Groupon? Go home. You're drunk.

Until Next Time...

Ms. Fix-It

Hi my name is Karla (with a K), and I'm a fixer.

Now that that is off my chest, I should probably explain myself. Fallacy. I won't explain myself but this lovely lady will. I found this post on one of my favorite natural hair blogs and I was intrigued by the title and hooked after the first paragraph. Just do yourself a favor and read the blog here. I'll wait. Promise.

Welcome back.
She had described me. And at the same time she pointed out my biggest flaw. I'm a fixer. A perpetual fixer. I tend to fix any and everything. Even things that don't necessarily need to be fixed. My best friend calls me Mamma Bear (before 9 pm - after that I turn into Call Me Maybe which is a whole 'nother story) because I tend to try to fix ev.er.y.thing. I'm guilty of trying to fix guys I've dated in the past. Even though they clearly weren't broken. A bunch of dumb asses? Yes. Just not the right fit for me. I've tried to fix friendships that didn't need to be saved. I tried to fix other people's relationships. I tried to fix my friends. I've tried to fix group projects. (Side note: Old hag chick in the group from my last post? Yea...still a little upset with her. But the class is over and the presentation went off without a hitch. More on that later because I caught the Professor yawning in the middle of a few presentations and... anyway more on that later.) I'm a fixer. And the sad truth is...I don't think I willingly let people into my life loving the way that they are now. Instead I let them in if I love the way that I think they could  be in the future.

Terrible. I know. But that's just how I am. And for once I can say for certain, this is something that needs to be fixed.

So I'm going to be a fixer, one last time. And fix myself.

Until Next Time...

My current life...via gifs.

Let me just take the time right now to apologize explain why my posts have been few and far between the last few weeks. It's the end of the semester. And I'm working on moving into a new place. And I started a new position. And did I mention that it's the end of the semester?

Yea.  This is what I feel like right now...



mixed with a little of this:



And this old chick in my group for our final project is driving me insane and I just want to do this:



Then tell her this:



And then go on a rampage like this:




I just have to keep reminding myself that it'll all be over soon. Very. Very. Soon.

Anyway. It's week 20 of 2013. Put money in the bank [shawty what you thank?].

Just Another Maniac Monday

"I wish it were Sunday...cuz that's my fun-day." NOT. You want to know what my Sunday Funday consisted of? Trying to find a comfortable position to rest in as I was extremely sore from playing four games of softball in less than 24 hours. But as soon as I found a position that didn't hurt, I had to get up because of:

• My bladder. It's the size of a pea (pun intended) so every 30-40 minutes ...well you get the point
• My Dog. She doesn't always have to go out but when she does it's right after you get comfortable
• Laundry was done. Gotta mumbo the laundry. And if you're asking what mumbo-ing the laundry is, it's a Frusciante-ism that apparently means to switch the loads. Courtesy of the crazy Frusciante family.

And in the mean time, I was doing homework. Sunday Funday my arse.

Anyway, it's week 18. So depending on what plan you're following put don't forget to put in:

1. $18
2. $36
3. Whatever amount you're on.
4. Nothing. I don't care really. You're money, not mine.

Take care on this dreary Monday. I have a feeling this is the type of day that the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day was written about.

Until Next Time...

It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day

Yet another reminder to take my birth control. Luckily these kids seem pretty cool. They're relatively older - not old enough to drive or actually work legally, but still older nonetheless so they'll be spending most of their time sitting in Mom or Dad's cube all day and getting snacks from the vending machine while entertaining themselves with their parent's iPads.

But let me tell you about my experiences with bring your kid to work days (BYKTWD). When I was younger, young enough to participate in BYKTWD my mom worked at the elementary school that I went to. #Fail What's the point of going to school to go to work with your parent when it's the same school you usually go to to learn? So I went to work with Daddy Dearest when he was being all electrical engineer and what not at the VA hospital. So I'd go to work with him and while he checked on a few things I would either:

1. Talk to the admin assistant, Peggy. She would give me candy and let me sit behind the desk with her. Let me tell you, that's all that a little kid needs in order to decide she's going to take over the world when she grows up.
2. Play Solitaire on the pc. Either that or mouse trap. Was that the name of the game? Where you were a mouse and had to get out of the maze on the screen before the cat came and ate you? Whatever it was, I remember it used to give me nightmares.
3. Be used a free labor Help my Dad out with some of the projects he had. Looking back at it, that was our bonding time (outside of softball and me sneaking in to use his tools when he wasn't home- yes this started in elementary school. How else was I going to take over the world if I didn't know how to use a rotary saw by the time I was 7?). He would spout of questions and I'd have to answer them - most of them were about obscure facts that no one knows about but for some reason...he did. And therefore, I did. Or I'd hand him his tools while he was face deep in blue, red, green, and white cables. He'd tell me what he was doing, I'd hand him tools, he'd walk through the process of him fixing something or another, and it would repeat. Or I'd even cut some of the wires and join some of the cables that he needed to do. I even learned how to strip cable wires by the time I was 7. It was great. I'm not sure what little girl wouldn't want to spend 8 hours fiddling through cables, wires, phone lines and all that jazz while getting quizzed on my times tables (which I still to this day have not mastered). No sarcasm.
4. Sleep. I'd take naps in his rolling desk chair (not even the comfortable ones, the basic rolling desk chair). I'd somehow contort myself into this position that made it comfortable enough to sleep and he'd leave me there. Or if I was really bold, I'd fall asleep under his desk. Like a boss.
5. Draw on the gigantic whiteboard. He had a whiteboard that took up an entire wall. So I'd have my square that I could reach (aka the very bottom) and I'd draw or doodle or just write stuff for hours on end. Again. It.Was.Great.

Plus, we'd go to the park for lunch and I got to play on the playground. #winning